Growing up is an interesting procedure. Some of us are born old. Some of us learn as time goes by. Some of us never grow up. I'll say that I am somewhere between the second and the third.
A simple sentence was all I needed actually. A friend said, "If you want to see things change around you for the better, you change yourself." It's simple advice. Really, really fucking simple. Obama during his campaign said you need to be the change you want to see.
But you learn over a period of time that it is the simplest things that are the most complex to execute.
Changing yourself means a lot of introspection - something I've never done. It's easy to introspect what someone else is thinking, but it's a totally different thing when you look inside yourself and say, "Hey, I fucked up here and I need to change it." The procedure of accepting that you've fucked up is long, painful and tedious. It makes you go through two phases. The first phase is when you feel extremely sorry for yourself. I went through that and I hated it. I hated everyone. I hated everything. I was negative, cynical and not myself at all.
The second phase is channelising it into doing something. My bosses - God bless them - gave me a chance to do something for the cricket World Cup. I've been doing a daily column for Mumbai Mirror. While it's a spoof on the goings-on in the tournament, it's taught me the importance of spending a few minutes everyday and writing. So to make up for the lame jokes that I put in the newspaper, I blog about a game that I am very passionate about.
The best thing about working towards self-improvement is that you learn to know yourself better. I'm slowly learning that people who accept you for who you are, are your real friends. The rest are just people. It's funny when your list of close friends goes down from a really large number to a handful, but you know what? I'm glad that it's this way.
So for those guys, who have been there to hear out my rants: Thank you
For those who diverted my mind into doing something ridiculous: Thank you
For those who told me that I acted like a dick: Thank you
For those who told me that I shouldn't think of anything negative while eating food: Thank you.
Like I said, it's a road to normalcy. The road will never end, but it's the journey that counts.
A simple sentence was all I needed actually. A friend said, "If you want to see things change around you for the better, you change yourself." It's simple advice. Really, really fucking simple. Obama during his campaign said you need to be the change you want to see.
But you learn over a period of time that it is the simplest things that are the most complex to execute.
Changing yourself means a lot of introspection - something I've never done. It's easy to introspect what someone else is thinking, but it's a totally different thing when you look inside yourself and say, "Hey, I fucked up here and I need to change it." The procedure of accepting that you've fucked up is long, painful and tedious. It makes you go through two phases. The first phase is when you feel extremely sorry for yourself. I went through that and I hated it. I hated everyone. I hated everything. I was negative, cynical and not myself at all.
The second phase is channelising it into doing something. My bosses - God bless them - gave me a chance to do something for the cricket World Cup. I've been doing a daily column for Mumbai Mirror. While it's a spoof on the goings-on in the tournament, it's taught me the importance of spending a few minutes everyday and writing. So to make up for the lame jokes that I put in the newspaper, I blog about a game that I am very passionate about.
The best thing about working towards self-improvement is that you learn to know yourself better. I'm slowly learning that people who accept you for who you are, are your real friends. The rest are just people. It's funny when your list of close friends goes down from a really large number to a handful, but you know what? I'm glad that it's this way.
So for those guys, who have been there to hear out my rants: Thank you
For those who diverted my mind into doing something ridiculous: Thank you
For those who told me that I acted like a dick: Thank you
For those who told me that I shouldn't think of anything negative while eating food: Thank you.
Like I said, it's a road to normalcy. The road will never end, but it's the journey that counts.
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